Monthly Archives: January 2008

Nine

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Today I am the mother of a nine year old.

Nine. The last single digit birthday. The last age that sounds right with “and-a-half” tagged onto the end of it. The last year of the whimsical, wonderful pre-pre-teen stage, when magical thinking and a burgeoning awareness of the world live comfortably side by side behind an enigmatic expression.

Katie, my little girl, is nine.

Didn’t she just turn eight, like, yesterday?

I’m trying not to panic here, but tell me this: where does the time go?

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Katie, I love you. I love the baby you were and the child you are and the woman you will be.

I love your zest for life, your unquenchable optimism, your childlike faith. I love the cute crooked teeth (those are from me; sorry!) that peek out from behind your ever-present grin. I love the way you face each day with determined good cheer, and the way your infrequent burst of temper dissolves as quickly as it came, like a brief summer squall passing away in the sunlight.

I love your goofy jokes (even the ones that don’t, strictly speaking, make sense) and your easygoing ways and how you get giggles which, once started, can’t be stopped by any force under the sun until they’ve run their full course and tears are streaming down your face. I love your tender heart and your million questions. I love the way you protect your brother, even when the protection is clearly (and loudly) unwanted. I love your joy.

I love your growing independence (but you might have to remind me sometimes). I love your tender heart. I love the way the world looks through your eyes, even while I’m showing it to you through mine. I love our talks, long rambles through the garden in your mind. I love our time together, and all the more because I know it will be short.

I love you, Katie. You are one of God’s best creations.

Happy ninth birthday.

***

(You just came up and started reading over my shoulder. Don’t worry, sweetheart. They’re almost all happy tears.)

And now for something completely Katie:

The White Stuff

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Snow Day 1

“SNOWWWWW DAYYYYYYY!” squealed Katie as soon as she heard the news of today’s school closings. Paul very nearly squealed, too, upon finding out that his office also closed down for the day. A snow day for the whole family. That’s like being handed an extra Saturday out of the blue!

Twenty-six straight hours of snowfall dumped over a foot of snow on our little town and much of the rest of the Northwest yesterday. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem for Idaho, but it was the worst kind of snow: big, wet, heavy flakes, piled up in mountains of glutinous slush all along the roads and rooftops. Power lines are collapsing under its weight, and roofs are caving in from the strain. And if you have the bad fortune to have to drive in the muck, it alternately sucks at your tires like a bog monster or catapults you across lanes of traffic without your say so, causing numerous accidents and jackknifed tractor trailers. Overnight, the temperature dropped, and all that lovely slush froze into a treacherous lunar landscape of bumps and swirls and sheets of ice topped by crusty snow. Most school closures were announced last night in anticipation of today’s mess.

How nice it is to sit here now, cozy inside our apartment with no where to go, typing this while I look out the window over a dazzling world of white. I went out earlier, intending to shovel the walk. I got a couple of feet through the packed ice and heavy, sticky snow before I gave it up as a lost cause. We have good boots, I figure. I took out the trash, I checked the mail, and by the time I made my way back inside, my ears were aching with the cold. A quick check of weather.com revealed the temperature: 18 degrees. And sunny. Stinging ears or not, I had to stand outside for a few minutes just looking over the snow caked mountains and the bejeweled trees and the cerulean sky, praising God for setting me down in northern Idaho.

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Cloverfield: a Review

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*Spoiler Alert* There are spoilers ahead. Lots of them. If you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read any further. I mean it. Don’t even glance down there, because you will inevitably see something that you didn’t want to know, and all through the whole movie you’ll be wondering when that part is going to happen, sitting on the edge of your seat thinking, “Is this it? No, no, I bet this is it coming up…” etc. No fun. Suffice it to say, I liked this movie. A lot. And if you are my cinematic kindred spirit, so will you.

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Just like that, it was over. Abruptly. Paul and I sat there for a stunned second, just breathing in and out and trying to stop the room from spinning, before I leaned over to him and whispered in his ear: “I think…I think I loved it.”

Not everyone did, though. Just a few seats down the row from us, a couple in their forties got up in what was very clearly a huff and stomped off down the stairs. In their wake, the man left these words echoing in the strangely quiet theater: “Well, that was a waste of time.”

It’s been a long while since I’ve seen a movie that provoked such vastly polarized reactions. How delightful!

Cloverfield, a small budget monster movie, careens through one thrill after another over its eighty-four minute run time. It incorporates the single handheld-camera technique we’ve seen elsewhere (see The Blair Witch Project), and the effect is incredibly visceral and engaging.

Here’s the setup: We’re watching an unedited videotape, recovered by the government from the site of some event that’s been codenamed simply “Cloverfield”. The video opens with a few minutes of silly morning-after pillow talk between some guy (Rob) and some girl (Beth), and then suddenly cuts away to a group of twenty-something young professionals who are throwing a surprise goodbye party for one of their own: Rob just got a new job and is moving to Japan. Rob’s best friend, a lovable dope named Hud, is enlisted as amateur videographer of the party and given the assignment of recording goodbye messages from all of Rob’s buddies. As events unfold, Hud keeps the camera rolling, giving us a front row seat for the seriously unsettling action to come. Unfortunately, the camera belongs to Rob himself, and the night’s events are being recorded over a previous taping of Rob and Beth at Coney Island, a fact established by small snippets of that happier day which break through cuts in the tape at intervals throughout the movie. By the time of the party, something has obviously separated Rob and Beth, and a passionate argument ends in Beth leaving the party early and Rob and his brother Jason having a heart-to-heart talk on the fire escape. Here’s where the true theme of the movie is expressed for the first time, when Jason says, “Forget the world, and hang on to the people you care about the most.”

And then reality shatters and New York starts shaking apart like some badly made toy.

Cloverfield isn’t like other monster movies. There’s no explanation of where the monster comes from or why it’s angry (and believe me; it’s definitely hacked off about something.) The protagonists aren’t packing Uzis and concocting heroic plans to save the world. They’re just trying to survive. And we, the viewers, are along for the ride. We only know what they know. We only see what they see. So when a relatively quiet city street suddenly explodes with screaming artillery rounds and otherworldly roaring, we are caught in the crossfire, too, sharing the small group’s sense of panic and terror. When they’re standing in the abandoned subway station, trying to decide between running down the blacked out subway tunnels or taking their chances up top with the big monster, we honestly don’t know which way they should go. And even though the military-types don’t tell us exactly what’s happening to our friend Marlena as a result of the mini-monster-spider bite she got, we deduce that it’s nothing good by the way they drag her off behind that quarantine curtain just before we get the hazy, silhouetted visual of her body contorting and swelling in a way that bodies just aren’t meant to contort or swell.

It’s chaos: glorious, terrible chaos.

So I guess this is the part where I say, “Go see Cloverfield! You’ll love it!” But considering the wide range of opinions I’ve heard, that might be a little disingenuous. Instead I’ll say, “Go see Cloverfield! You’ll love it! Or maybe you’ll hate it.”

You might get dizzy. Sit in the back half of the theater; it helps. Maybe it’s part of belonging to the YouTube, camera phone generation, but the jumpy camera work didn’t really bother me. Rather, it added to the illusion that I was there, on the ground, watching this unbelievable thing happen all around me. And that sense of authenticity was only enhanced by another noticeable perk of seeing it in the theater, with its state-of-the-art Dolby surround sound: I could feel every roar, every stomp, every earth-shattering explosion vibrating through my seat.

I should also tell you that if you like your story endings happy, fully explained, and tied up with a neat little bow, you might be disappointed. This film leaves you with a lot of unanswered questions. Some of the answers can be found or guessed at by exploring the online materials that were part of the viral marketing of the movie, but a few of the plot threads were left completely flapping in the wind. Unlike many people, I appreciate that.

Paul and I discussed the movie all the way home, and in the end, we decided it isn’t so much a monster movie as it is a love story. Two people overcoming obstacles to find one another in this crazy world.

Except in this case, the obstacle in question is the size of a skyscraper, covered with deadly spider-like parasites, and wreaking havoc on a major American city.

Love conquers all, right?

For Truth, Justice, and an End to Wanton Tickling!

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Today’s guest blogger is Paul (a.k.a. The Geek):

Superman

The other night, I took a break from The Two Towers DVD to put together a couple little puzzles with my kids. The puzzles were both picturing Marvel super heroes, and so as we built the puzzles, my kids asked about the different characters, their history and special abilities. Having been blessed growing up with an older brother who had means to subscribe to comics, I was happy to impart my fairly vast pool of fictional hero lore to my eager children. They were a great audience and seemed very excited by some of the powers. Once they had amassed what they felt was an adequate degree of knowledge, they began to choose which ones they wanted, as if I would somehow bestow these super gifts upon them myself. My son’s choice went so:

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Caleb: [Pointing to the heroes as he talks about them] If I had Cyclops’ laser beam and Wolverine’s claws, I could STOP EVILDOERS. [Does a decent upper body power pose.]

Dad: [Looking quite impressed] I bet you could! You’d be a GREAT superhero.

Caleb: Yeah! [thoughtful pause] What’s an evildoer?

Dad: [Controlling himself] It’s someone who does what is wrong and sometimes hurts other people.

Caleb: Yeah! Like making a booby trap chair…or…giving tickles.
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Apparently giving tickles is akin to villainous torture. Enhanced chairs? Not sure about that one. I was taking too much care not to blow tea out my nose in laughter to delve further into the evils of modified recliners. I’ll just look before sitting down anywhere in the home until I am sure my son’s super allegiances are clear.

Word to the wise: Take care when explaining Johnny Storm. My kids got waaaaay too excited about his powers. “Fire is nothing to play with. It will burn you. The Human Torch is just pretend,” I told them. That seemed to quell their thirst for flying pryomania.

For now.

You Make My Day

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I’d like to thank the little people, with their sticky questions and fossilized boogies. I’d like to thank my wonderful husband, without whose geeky influence I might never have known what a blog was, or how to use it to to spread amusing anecdotes, useless trivia, and dire warnings about impending alien invasions. Most of all, I’d like to thank Inland Empire Girl, of Gathering Around the Table, who so generously endowed me with this award. Her blog is a fresh breeze, full of thoughtful reflections and sweet stories that I always enjoy reading, and it is an honor to be singled out for her attention.

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The You Make My Day Award is given to bloggers whose blogs “bring you inspiration and make you feel happy about blogland.” All the blogs on my Blogs I Like list fall into that category! But I’d like to tell you about three that especially spring to mind.

Jen at A Butterfly Moment is not only a dear friend in real life, but an inspiring teacher, a devoted mom, and a talented writer.   She has a generous heart and a Spirit-filled way of looking at life that always lift me up, and her stories about the kids in her class are priceless.

No spin through the blogosphere would be complete without a stop at Tales From My Tiny Kingdom.  Anne Glamore frequently makes me laugh so hard I gleek.  (For example, check out one of my favorite posts of hers: It’s Natural But It’s Rated R.)  She is a superhero.

I’ve “known” Amy from Eliza Jane almost since the day I started my own blog.  A fellow believer, book-lover, and blog buddy, she has one of the most authentic writing voices I’ve read.  Her blog is a window into her experiences as a single mom, her walk with God, and her loves and beliefs.  I often stop by to see what’s up and leave with an unexpected dose of perspective.

So, this award is for you lovely ladies.  Thank you for blogging!  Feel free to nominate your own day-making bloggers, as many as you like, or just nod, smile, and stick it up on your virtual mantel next to your other crowning achievements.

(Also, if any of you lack the time to come up with your own acceptance speech, you might look here for a little help.)

Have a happy day!

Smallville Saturation

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This morning I was showering when Paul stumbled, bleary-eyed, into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Him:  *yawn*  Morning, babe.  *scratch*

Me:  Good morning yourself!  (peering out from behind the shower curtain)  Did you know your hair is sticking up funny in the back?

Him (sarcastic):  Yeah.  It helps me fly.

Me:   Very funny.

(Pause.)

Me:  If you’ve been able to fly all this time and you haven’t taken me for a ride, you’re in big trouble, mister.

Him:  This I know.

Friendship in Marriage

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Paul and I play Scrabble. It’s our dorky obsession. We even have a travel Scrabble board which rides around in our trunk just in case we’re stranded somewhere and are struck with a sudden, irrepressible need for a triple word score. We pull it out sometimes at restaurants and play through a whole game while sipping bottomless cokes and eating steak fries. It’s an acknowledged truth between us that, though I have the larger vocabulary, Paul is the master of Scrabble mathematics (a skill that somehow allows him to lay down only two tiles and still score a whopping 39 points.) This makes for close games, and we’re pretty evenly matched in the wins and losses department.

You know what they say: the couple that plays together stays together. Even if the play sometimes involves beating each other about the head and shoulders with a pocket dictionary. (“I told you ‘pukka’ was a word! You dare to challenge me?”)

This month’s Marriage Support Groups discussion topic is Maintaining Friendship in Marriage. Studies show that one of the biggest predictors of marital success is having a strong friendship at the foundation of your relationship with your spouse. Fun, teamwork, trust, communication, loyalty, laughter–the building blocks of a good friendship are also essential to a fulfilling marriage.

Here are this month’s discussion questions:

Ice Breaker: Many wedding invitations feature the popular phrase: “Today I marry my best friend.” What one characteristic of a good friend have you come to appreciate most about your spouse since your wedding day?

1. According to Dr. John Gottman*, the common denominator among most long-lasting, happy marriages is a firm foundation in friendship. He describes this as “an abiding regard” for each other that expresses itself in big and little ways every day. Share some of the ‘little things’ that you and your spouse do to nurture your friendship.

2. Most successful marriage friendships are characterized by something called positive sentiment override. This means that despite the usual irritations and disagreements two married people experience, their positive feelings about each other and their marriage are so pervasive that they tend to supersede the negative feelings. The natural state for a marriage in this condition is optimism. What can we do to help create this ‘positive sentiment override’ in our own marriages?

3. Research has revealed that there is one behavior that nearly all emotionally healthy marriages have in common. That behavior is called the repair attempt (though the couples who use it may not even realize it.) In an argument, a repair attempt is any statement or action-silly or serious-that prevents negativity from escalating out of control. A funny phrase, a sincere look, or a familiar hand squeeze-whatever it is, in healthy friendships it disarms the combatants and brings the tension back down to a manageable level. Share a common repair attempt you and your spouse use.

4. Emotionally connected couples tend to be very familiar with each other’s worlds–what their days are like, how they feel about things, their dreams and worries, their favorite dessert. How well do you feel you know the little details of your spouse’s life? What can we do to improve this intimate knowledge of each other?

5. Another key to a strong marital friendship is to create shared meaning, an inner life together that emphasizes the feeling of being part of a special and unique bond. We do this in a number of ways: traditions, inside jokes, personal rituals, shared goals and dreams. Give an example from your own marriage. How do you cultivate that sense of “us-ness” with your spouse?

6. Share one thing you could do to be a better friend to your spouse.

Assignment: Plan a date night this week for the two of you. Nurture that friendship with the gift of time!

*The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver

No Carrot? No Problem!

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Yesterday was a perfect snowman day. It was about 34 degrees. The seven inches of powder which fell earlier this week, covering the icy sediment below and closing schools on Tuesday, had softened up into a beautiful, dewy slush. After dropping Paul at work and Katie at school, Caleb and I indulged in an impromptu snow fight, and every handful of snow became an instant snowball, no packing required. One missile, targeted at my head, missed and hit the side of our apartment building instead. It clung there in an icy clump of mush; I could almost see the word “splat” hanging in the air above it. Like I said, a perfect snowman day.

After we picked Katie up that afternoon, the three of us headed over to North Idaho College. The students hadn’t yet returned to class, and the campus was covered with acres of pristine, undisturbed snow. At least, it was undisturbed before we got there. After spending the whole school day obeying a “no snowball throwing” rule, Katie was eager to paste her brother with a couple of good ones, so the snowball fight continued with Katie in my place. (I declared myself off limits–you know, since I was holding a camera and all.)

Twenty minutes later, once the artillery ground to a halt and the mutual whitewashes petered out, we got down business: our snowman. Conditions were so ideal that the snow nearly rolled itself into balls, and before long we had the traditional three-tiered personage taking shape beneath our hands. But Katie seemed upset. “Wait a minute! How can we make a snowman when we didn’t bring a carrot for the nose?” she asked. I declared it a problem-solving opportunity and set her to finding embellishments for our icy friend while I worked at stabilizing and smoothing the snowman’s structure. She came back with two long sticks for arms, and for the nose, a short, fat twig that substituted very well for a carrot (with the added benefit of being less attractive to Bambi and his relatives, who often come down from the surrounding woods to graze.) Being fresh out of lumps of coal, I had to improvise some eyes and a mouth from the tiny, hard cones I found underneath a nearby fir tree.

Finally, we stood back to admire our handiwork. It was getting dark, but I snapped a few pictures with my pocket camera, praying that I wouldn’t drop it in the snow, since I couldn’t feel my fingertips anymore.

On our way back to the car, I asked the kids what they thought we should name our newly created frozen friend. Katie started to mull it over, but Caleb instantly piped up, “His name is Odie!” And Odie it was.

I know Odie won’t be with us long. The streets are running wet with ice melt today and every so often the silence outside is punctuated by the soft “whump” of piled up snow sliding off of the roof. Nevertheless, he’s already accomplished a lot in his short life. He’s helped to foster the creative spirit in two enthusiastic young minds. He’s brought smiles to the faces of passersby, invoking visions of their own snowmen and snowman days. And he’s contributed another brick to the house of happy childhood memories I hope we are building for Katie and Caleb.

Who needs a carrot?

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Stranded

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I usually ignore those little lights on the dashboard.

Our car, a Ford Escort, was born the same year the Euro was introduced*, and is starting to show her age. I’ve decided that the “check engine” light, which has been on for the past 30,000 miles, is the automotive equivalent of arthritis. We’ve taken our beloved car to professionals, performed batteries of tests, and repaired everything from the timing belt to the oxygen sensors, but that red light just stays on. I don’t even notice it anymore.

That’s why yesterday, when the little battery-shaped icon started flickering on and off, I didn’t panic. The car seemed to be functioning at normal parameters and I knew the battery was only a year old. Still, to be on the safe side, I pulled into the NAPA parking lot on my way home from dropping Katie at school, just to have them check it out. (Side note: I love NAPA. The floor and walls and shelves are full of interesting looking parts and gizmos that I don’t understand, the air smells slightly of engine grease, and the employees are always extremely kind and helpful and not condescending at all even though I clearly don’t know a manifold from a manatee.) I told the man behind the counter about the flickering battery light, and right away he knew it was caused by one of two problems. Grabbing one of his many cool diagnostic voodoo devices, he followed me out to the car and hooked its two clips up to my battery. After studying the display for a moment, he announced, “Well, the good news is that it’s not your battery.”

In this case, the “good news” wasn’t so good. A battery costs about $50 to replace. A new alternator, on the other hand, costs closer to two hundred dollars. And a new alternator, he assured me, was what we needed. “How long have we got?” I asked. “Do I need to drive straight to a mechanic, or can I get away with shopping around for a few days?”

“Well, if you turn off your radio, heater, and headlights, you might be fine for a while. Just don’t go out of town. And ma’am? If you stop at 7-11, leave the engine running.”

Yikes.

“A while” turned out to be less than 24 hours. We had made arrangements to have my father-in-law, an auto mechanic who works near Paul’s office, take a look at the Escort this afternoon, but that wasn’t soon enough. This morning, as I was driving Paul to work (we only have the one car), our alternator commenced its death throes. First, the engine started missing. It lurched, and stalled, and lurched again, making a sickly thrumming noise all the while. We were about a mile from our destination. Then I noticed the speedometer had stopped working. Its needle was buried deep under the zero, unresponsive. Next, we lost our turn signals. I switched on the left one to take a corner, and nothing happened. We were about a block away. “You’d better drive straight to the garage,” Paul directed worriedly. “There’s no way you’re getting home in this bucket.”

In the end, the engine cut out (and this is no exaggeration) just as we were coasting into the last available parking space in front of Dad’s garage. In fact, Paul had to push us the last three feet. Talk about timing! I’m thinking it was a God thing.

While Paul went and consulted with his dad on our options (a two day wait for the proper part, most likely), I made phone calls to cancel my eye appointment and to tell Katie’s school why she wouldn’t be in attendance today. We came in from the cold and Paul’s wonderful coworkers set the kids up with some computer games to keep them busy as we tried to decide what to do. Ultimately, Dad loaned us his truck and Paul deposited the kids and I back at home, where we are marooned until such time as our old red tank is ready to roll once more.

Not exactly the best morning, but being a cup-half-full kind of girl, I’m going to count the blessings in this situation. Here they are:

*The car died right in front of the garage, not on the side of the road or in front of the school.

*Paul was with me, so I didn’t have to juggle kids with waiting for rescue and working out the car salvage details.

*We actually know what’s wrong with the car, and we have the money to fix it.

*It’s great to be related to a talented auto mechanic. Between Paul and his dad, our cars and computers always receive the best technical support.

*We didn’t have a wreck, despite having to drive our rapidly decomposing automobile on slick, icy roads.

*We might be stranded, but we’re warm and together and at home, with no place to go, just watching the snow falling, falling, falling outside.

It’s not so bad.

*1999 (You didn’t know my blog was educational, did you?)