Tag Archives: love

Letter to my Newlywed Self

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I’ve seen plenty of inspiring, wisdom-filled essays from people to their younger selves. They are generally uplifting and full of good advice about choices and chances—wisdom gleaned from painful years of wrong turns, shifting perceptions, and painful falls. Sure, their younger selves wouldn’t listen any better than they did, but it feels good to say it out loud, nonetheless, to acknowledge how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown. Looking back over almost 18 years of marriage now, I realized that I also have a lot to say to my younger self–specifically the self I was when I married Paul at the tender age of 22 and embarked, for better or worse, on the crazy adventure that follows the choice to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.

Dear Newlywed Katrina,

The wedding was beautiful, wasn’t it? Aside from you accidentally smashing your groom’s fingers in the car door before making your getaway, the day was sheer poetry. Looking over at your new husband, I know you can’t imagine that anyone before or since has ever had a love as profound and unique as yours. And all those people who talk about marriage being hard work full of fights and frustrations and misunderstandings clearly didn’t manage to marry their perfect soulmate, as you have cleverly done.

You might want to sit down, girl.

It turns out that the finger-smashing incident was a pretty good metaphor for marriage. Even when everything is beautiful and amazing between the two of you, blood and tears inevitably make an appearance here and there. Expect them, and learn from them (For example, you’ve already learned to check for fingers before slamming the car door. Don’t tell Paul, but there are a lot of accidental injuries in his future. Watch where you put your knees and elbows, and remember that your diamond ring can scratch.)

Anyway, here are some things I wish I could tell you before you have to learn them the hard way:

1. Guess what? You’re not your husband’s mother. I know, as the oldest child, that you have spent a lifetime assuming you know the best way to do everything and bossing around the people you love (in their own best interests, of course). But that’s a habit you need to break. Your husband needs a lover and a friend, not a nagging know-it-all correcting the way he loads the dishwasher or making sure he gets his work done. Believe it or not, he even has some things to teach you. Life will start being a lot more fun for both of you when you figure this out.

2. It’s his home, too. Sure, you’ve spent hours poring over magazine articles about decorating on a budget and combing through thrift shops for those beautifully aged shabby chic end tables. You consider your home an extension of yourself, an embodiment of your unique personality, and Paul’s framed Star Wars movie poster, as attractive as it is, just doesn’t jibe with the casual neo-Grecian vibe you’re trying to create. I mean, you’ve already given him a four foot steamer trunk in which to stuff all his unsightly computer cords and gaming paraphernalia; what more does he want? Well, I’ll tell you. He wants to feel like he lives there. He wants to be comfortable and at home in his own place. He wants to be able to see his stuff, and to use it without feeling like it’s a barbaric offense to the civilized world. He wants to meld your life and his into a new life that is better and richer than before; he wants to create a home for the two of you, one that reflects both of you and this new thing that you are together. Besides, deep inside, you are a way bigger geek than you even know right now. You’ll want to hang on to that Star Wars poster.

3. Let some things go. Right now, you think that good communication means airing your every single complaint and irritation with each other immediately and in full. You don’t want to “let things fester”, and that’s good. Festering is bad. But what you don’t know yet is that a lot of those things that bother you now just aren’t very important. They aren’t even big enough to fester. They’re more like little welts on the surface of your skin that will entirely disappear by morning. For example, it’s certainly not worth killing two hours of a precious Saturday night to wage war on his annoying habit of putting empty containers back in the fridge. Just throw them away for him. Seriously. It takes two seconds. Save your energy for the big battles, because there will be a few, and you don’t want to have spent all your emotional capital on empty Miracle Whip jars.

4. Make time for each other. I know, you think you’ll always have these late Saturday mornings to lie in bed gazing into each other’s eyes and talking about everything under the sun. You can’t imagine that a time will come when you don’t call each other at work to coo adoringly into the phone or spend evenings strolling hand in hand along downtown streets, dreaming about your future selves. But life has a way of happening, filling up the hours and days with children and projects and obligations. Before you know it, you can find yourselves falling into bed after a busy day without having said more to each other than “good morning”, “goodnight”, and “don’t forget your dentist appointment at four”. You have to fight this with all of your will! Connections are much easier to maintain than they are to rebuild. Don’t ever let busy schedules and worries make you forget what you have in each other. The back burner is no place for a marriage. Keep the heat on under it, and stir it constantly. Trust me, it will be delicious.

5. Be on the same team. The world is full of adversaries – people who want to tear you down or take what you have, people who only want to win, to dominate, to stand at the top of a heap of fallen opponents and bask in their victories. That’s the opposite of marriage. You and Paul are comrades in arms, shouting encouragement and sharing canteens as you take this hill of life together. You will disagree with each other; one or the other of you will fall down and lose focus; you will encounter obstacles so big they seem to block out the sun. At such times, it’s easy to turn on your teammate, but don’t. Take turns picking each other up. Forget about blame and focus on the next step. Carry each other when the need arises. To quote Malcolm Reynolds (from the show Firefly – you’re going to love it!), “You’re on my crew. Why we still talking about this?”

6. When it comes to sex, say yes as often as you can. Sex is glue for your relationship. Apply liberally. A few months after your honeymoon, when you’ve worked out all the mechanical details, you will fall back into bed one night, turn your eyes to the heavens, and ask blissfully, “Can it possibly get any better than THIS?” And the answer, I am delighted to report, is “YES!” Better and better and unbelievably better! (But now I’m just bragging.) Here’s the thing. You will be tempted to set the tempo of your sex life solely to the beat of your own desire. And, female sexual response being what it is, that desire will not come knocking on your door quite as often as it does on his. But if you say yes, even if you don’t feel like dancing at first, you will usually find yourself getting caught up in the beat. Sometimes you’ll want the seven course meal, and other times, you’ll just be in the mood for a quick burger and fries. (Wow, I’ve got like three sex metaphors going here!) Either kind of meal can be satisfying. The important thing is the nourishment it gives your relationship. It’s amazing how powerful sex is. When you’re stressed out, when he’s had a setback at work, when the argument is over but the tension isn’t — sex says, “I love you. I choose you. We are in this together.” It makes the highs higher and the lows less harrowing. Plus, it’s fun. Do it a lot.

7. Show Paul how much you admire him. You picked him for a reason — lots of reasons. Does he know what they are? When you find yourself appreciating his sense of humor, or his easy way of talking to strangers, or how good he looks in his jeans, open your mouth and tell him! Say nice things about him in front of others, and try not to share stories with your girlfriends that would embarrass him. (I admit that I still struggle with this. See if you can do something about our compulsive oversharing, will you, 22 year-old me?) Be the one in his corner, the one who cheers louder than anyone else, the one who speaks into the self-doubt and discouragement with words that build up and show him who he is in your eyes. He needs that, just like you do.

8. Do new things. Sure, you don’t like football now, and the mention of tabletop gaming makes your eyes glaze over with boredom, but don’t reject his favorite activities out of hand. Give them a chance. Yes, you’ll discover that you truly never, ever want to play Shogun again in your life, but you’ll also be surprised to find out that you quite like fantasy football and computer gaming. And the effort you put into sharing his interests will pay off in a hundred little ways, like the warm smile in his eyes when he has to crown you Queen and Champion of the Fantasy Football League in your very first season..

9. Don’t give up. There will come a time when you think about it, when the wrong turn your marriage has made takes you so far into the weeds that you can’t even see your feet. Don’t give up. You get back to the road the same way you got off of it — one step at a time. In a marriage like yours, made of two people who love and trust God, there is nothing He can’t fix.

10. Finally, I know you hate that ratty plaid flannel jacket that Paul always wears, but do not throw it away and pretend it got lost in the laundry. He will know it was you, and you will still be hearing about it 18 years later. Trust me.

You’re in for a wild ride, Katrina, but the scenery is fantastic. Hang on tight and don’t let go!

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Dynamic Marriage

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Paul and I had been married for a glorious eleven days before we had our first big fight.  It was over something silly, of course, but it didn’t seem like it at the time.  I felt like all our future happiness and self-respect was hanging in the balance, teetering on the outcome of our fireworks.  There was a great deal of shouting, a little theatrical crying, a dramatic exit, and a stony silent treatment that would have made Clara Bow proud.  Thankfully, it didn’t last long.  Within an hour, the clouds had blown over.  Our newlywed hearts went predictably mushy, and we approached each other sheepishly, full of regrets and apologies, ready to work out an adult solution to our impasse.

And from that day to this, we’ve never had another argument.

Okay, okay.  If you’re married, you already know that last line is laughably untrue.  In fact, I could barely type it with a straight face.  While Paul and I have what I would call a blessed marriage, we have driven a long and rugged road, full of potholes and wrong turns and flat out car wrecks.  Marriages, the best marriages, can be almost transcendent with joy, but even the happiest ones (I should say especially the happiest ones) require effort, sacrifice, and thoughtfulness to become the fairy tale.

We all believe in the fairy tale, or we did at one time.  If we hadn’t, we wouldn’t have gotten married.  In our hearts, we carry around a beautiful picture of married love: best friends, shared joys, warm affection, great sex, acceptance, supportive encouragement, meaningful conversation.

Unfortunately, many married people have given up on that picture.  Natural conflicts and unmet expectations dull the focus.  Disenchantment sets in.  Some unhappy people leave their spouses, sure that they can create a better picture by starting over with somebody new.  Others, disappointed, simply resign themselves to the idea that “good enough” must be as good as it gets.

I am happy to tell you that it’s not true.  Anybody can have a wonderful marriage.  And if your marriage is already wonderful, believe me:  it can get even better!

This summer, Paul and I traveled to Vancouver to be trained as facilitators for an extraordinary course called Dynamic Marriage.  Dynamic Marriage is an 8-week, interactive course developed by the nationally recognized experts at Family Dynamics Institute .  It meets for a couple of hours once a week and is directed by trained facilitators (like yours truly), who are not just leading the class but are actively participating in it.  It is not just another marriage seminar or lecture.  It’s an experience, one that over the years has changed the trajectories of thousands of marriages across the country.

During our three days of training, we joined a group of other facilitator couples and met in a separate classroom to experience the Dynamic Marriage materials firsthand, as participants.  We had homework to do, both together and by ourselves, just like class participants.  The sessions were structured just like every other Dynamic Marriage session.  What took place was astounding.  Although all the couples in the training already considered themselves to have good marriages, we each found that there were areas of our marriage that needed attention.  Some of the breakthroughs that we witnessed were life-changing.  Paul and I were able to talk to each other about things that had never come up before in our marriage, and as a result, we’ve made changes that have blessed our friendship and our romance.  If this kind of transformation can take place over one weekend, I can’t wait to take part in the 8-week experience.

I came home with a big “Wow!” bubble hanging over my head, frothing over to tell everyone who asked me how great this resource could be for marriages in our community.

Now comes the fun part:  You are invited. We have our first course starting this fall, on September 23rd.  The class is open to any married couple who lives close enough to Coeur d’Alene to attend.  Old or young, Christians or non-Christians, even engaged couples who are soon to be married are welcome.  If your marriage is struggling, you can find healing.  If your marriage is good, it can be great.  If you know of a young couple just starting their married life, encourage them to join; a scholarship to Dynamic Marriage would make a perfect wedding gift!  Unfortunately, there is only space for 12 couples in each session, so registrations will be first come, first served.  But if you don’t make it into this fall’s class, don’t worry; we have another session coming up in February, led by our friends and fellow facilitators, Mike and Cindy Woods.  The registration fee of $150 per couple covers all the class materials and is easily the best investment you’ll ever make in your future marital happiness.

Click here for more information, and please contact us or leave a message in the comments if you have any questions.  We are so excited to be able to offer this resource to our community; we can’t wait for class to begin!

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Dynamic Marriage Q&A

*Note: This video is older, so the price of materials has gone up $10 from the price mentioned in the video.

QotD

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“For what we need to know, of course, is not just that God exists, not just that beyond the steely brightness of the stars there is a cosmic intelligence of some kind that keeps the whole show going, but that there is a God right here in the thick of our day-by-day lives who may not be writing messages about himself in the stars but in one way or another is trying to get messages through our blindness as we move around down here, knee-deep in the fragrant muck and misery and marvel of the world.  It is not objective proof of God’s existence that we want, but the experience of God’s presence.  That is the miracle we are really after, and that is also, I think, the miracle that we really get.”

–Frederick Buechner, The Magnificent Defeat

10 Things My New iPhone is Good For

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I admit it.  I’d been coveting an iPhone for quite a while.  However, we had been Verizon customers since time immemorial, locked into a succession of satisfying two year service plans, and since the iPhone is exclusive to AT&T, I had given it up as a lost dream. I spent a lot of time checking out the Verizon versions of touch phones, hoping to fall in love with one of them the way I already adored the iPod Touch I got for my last birthday.  But to be honest, there just wasn’t any chemistry.  Apple had ruined me for all other touch interfaces.

Trust my wonderful, darling geek to know my heart.  For my birthday at the beginning of August, he canceled our Verizon plan and bought me my very own iPhone 3Gs.  After spending a couple of weeks playing with it and exploring its delightful secrets, I’m convinced that it is my favorite of all the gadgets Paul has ever bought me.  And that’s saying a lot.

I carry it with me everywhere.  I sleep with it next to the bed.  I’ve even dressed it up in a cute little outfit, green to match Penelope (my laptop):

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And now this new technology is touching my life in ways I never even dreamed.  Here are just a few of them.

10 Things My New iPhone is Good For:

1.  Settling restaurant arguments. Did ZZ Top release their first album in 1971 or 1973?  What was the host’s name on that old game show “Let’s Make a Deal”?  What are the main physiological differences between Vulcans and Romulans?  Before the yelling escalates and dinner rolls are thrown, I can whip out my iPhone and use my anywhere data plan to google the answers.

2.  Helping me find myself. I get lost.  A lot.  It doesn’t matter who is giving the directions; my ability to misunderstand and muddle them knows no bounds.  But the Map application on my iPhone can zero in on my current location using its internal GPS and ping the map exactly where I am while giving me directions to where I want to go.  It even follows me as I travel so I can make sure I’m sticking to the path.  It does everything except yell “turn left, dummy!” (Perhaps that feature will be added in the next software update.)

3.  Entertaining grouchy kids. Movies, music, video games… my iPhone has everything a tired Mommy needs to help her kids weather that extra-long wait while getting the winter tires put on the car.

4.  Keeping the world apprised of my every fascinating thought and action. I have an application on my iPhone that allows me to write entries on my blog from anywhere I go.  I also have one that hooks me up to Twitter, and one that puts me in touch with every one of my 400 Facebook friends at the touch of a button.  Whether I’m eating a cheeseburger, walking to the bookstore, or catching a cold, I can tell everyone what I’m doing at every moment of my day.

I cannot, however, make them care.

5.  Figuring out what’s for dinner. Picture this: I’m standing in the middle of the grocery store, trying to decide what to feed my family tonight.  I know that back home in the pantry, I have some chicken breasts, tortilla chips, and a can of Rotel.  I open my iPhone and tap the BigOven application, then enter the names of these three ingredients in the search box.  Up pops a recipe that uses them all: King Ranch Chicken, 15 minutes to prepare, bakes for one hour.  Looking at the recipe’s other ingredients, I toss cream of mushroom soup and some cans of chicken broth into my cart and poof!  Dinner is served!

6. Videotaping chance meetings with celebrities. Actually, that should probably say “videoing” (“video-ing”?), since tape hasn’t been involved since the eighties.  Whatever.  But the next time I bump into Dick Van Dyke in the produce department at the grocery store, I’m whipping out my iPhone and setting it to record every delicious moment of stuttering, nonsensical adoration.  (Plus, it might come in handy as evidence when I get called into court to defend myself against stalking charges.  After all, singing “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” off key isn’t a crime in the technical sense.)

7.  Discovering new music. A few years ago, there was a Diet Coke commercial starring Adrien Brody that I loved, purely because of the music.  I didn’t know what song it was, and there was only a fifteen second clip of it on the commercial, but I found myself humming that fifteen seconds over and over again until I thought I would go mad trying to figure out what it was.  Determined to buy the song and enjoy the whole thing, I kept trying to catch the lyrics so I could google them.  Eventually, I found out that it was “Callin’ Out” by Lyrics Born, and I purchased it on iTunes, but the whole process would have been vastly simplified by my iPhone and the free application I just got: Shazam.  Hold the iPhone receiver up to capture the song in question, and Shazam will use the song’s acoustic fingerprint to find it in the vast database before displaying the title, album, artist, and release date, as well as a purchasing link to iTunes.  Wow.  Just…wow.

8.  Finding out if it’s a snow day without getting out of bed. When the weather outside is truly frightful, there’s a good chance that life will be temporarily postponed due to snow accumulation.  Now I can just reach across to my iPhone and call up the local news web site to check school closings, all without touching a toe to the cold floor.

9.  Studying my Bible. When the teacher in my Bible class asks everyone to turn to a verse in the Bible, I get out my iPhone and look it up on YouVersion, my Bible application.  I can bookmark favorite verses, search by keyword, and view other people’s commentaries.  I can choose from a dozen translations.  There’s even a daily Bible reading schedule.  I used the same program on my iPod Touch, and it was one of the first things I loaded on my phone.  I used to feel a little self-conscious about firing up my electronic Bible at church, but lately there are a lot more people using them, and I can usually spot three or four other glowing screens from where I’m sitting.  What can I say?  I’m a trendsetter.

10.  Talking on the phone. That’s right.  Lest we forget, the iPhone is, first and foremost, a phone.  A phone with lots of cool phone-related features, like photo caller ID, visual voice mail management, and integrated contacts, along with all the usual cell phone offerings–speaker phone, conference calling, voice dialing, and the like.  There’s only one impediment to pure perfection.  I can’t find a good Chewbacca ringtone anywhere.

Bits and Pieces

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*Last night, after sending the kids to get their pajamas on, Paul and I settled down on the couch with our laptops to play a little World of Warcraft together.  Before long, out comes Caleb in his footie jammies, asking, “Can I sit with you guys?”  I patted the sofa next to me.  “Of course, kiddo,” I said.  Only then did I see that he was holding something in his hands.  “I have a computer of my own, see?” he exclaimed proudly.  He had taken a piece of orange construction paper, folded it in half, and drawn a keyboard and screen on it.  He sat back against the couch and set his “laptop” up on his knees to play, just like Mommy and Daddy.  How cute is that?

Dell and Crayola team up to create the ultimate in ultralight computing...

Dell and Crayola team up to create the ultimate in ultralight computing...

*Once, when I was a kindergartner in Michigan, I spent the entire recess getting dressed in my snowsuit and boots.  The teacher was going down the line zipping zippers and fastening gloves and tightening boot laces before sending each student to the playground, and I happened to be last in line that day.  Just as I was walking to the door to go outside, the bell rang and all the other kids came streaming back into the building, faces red with cold and laughing at their sledding adventures.  I burst into tears from the disappointment.

I hadn’t thought about that memory in a long time, until this year, when we came back to school from Christmas break with three feet of snow still on the ground.  Suddenly, the simple act of sending my students out to recess took on gargantuan complications, and it took me a day or two to realize that I had to make some adjustments in the procedure.  Now, I schedule ten minutes of class time before recess for getting into snowpants and hats and scarves and gloves and boots, and another ten minutes after for getting out of them.  (Yes, that’s twenty minutes of preparation for a fifteen minute recess, but such is life in North Idaho.)  Another lesson came from the K4 teacher in the room next to mine, who has been doing this for winters without number.  She doesn’t spend all that time on zippers and laces and stuffing tiny feet into puffy snowsuits like so many nylon-encased sausages.  Instead, she has a hands-off policy: she’ll talk a child through the process (“sit down and pull your snowpants on like you’re getting into a sleeping bag”, etc.) but she won’t do it for them.  As a result, her students get ready to go out all by themselves, and much more quickly than if they had to wait for her to get around to help everyone.  I started doing things the same way in my classroom this week, and it has helped immensely.

*Katie will be participating in the area-wide private school spelling bee next Thursday.  Knowing my proud history of spelling bee glory, her teacher has kindly invited me to come along and bear witness to the victories and defeats of the next generation of spelling wunderkind.  Kathy has agreed to take my class for a couple of hours in the morning, and I am looking forward to being there with Katie, either to share in her moment of triumph or to comfort her in her disappointment, as my mother comforted me.  Spell on, sweet girl!

*Martin Luther King Jr. Day is Monday.  What a joy it was to explain to my class why we celebrate the birthday of this remarkable man and the impact he had on American society!  His dedication to Christ’s teachings of love and equality burned through our national consciousness like a wildfire.  While we still have work to do to realize his vision of an America where men “will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character”, he made some of the first mighty strides toward that goal, and planted that dream deep in the soil of our country’s soul.  The reverend knew, as many of us today do not, that the first rule of positive change is love.  We can’t get anywhere we want to go without it.

Merry Christmas!

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This morning, we got a text message from Daniel, my newest brother-in-law.  It said:

Wishing you the very best in this time of yearning between the now and the not yet.

Happy Christmas

Daniel & Amber

On this day of family, food, and friendship, I pray the same for you–both the yearning, and the fulfillment of it in Jesus Christ and the home He has prepared for those who love Him.

Happy holidays!

So This Is Love

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We were sitting in church this morning when Paul reached over and pulled a single long hair off the sleeve of my sweater.  He held it up and we could both see it shimmering silver in the overhead lights.

I leaned over and whispered, “It’s official.  You’re married to an old lady.”  He chuckled quietly.

I thought a moment.  “Does it bother you?  The gray?  I could color it, you know.”

“No, don’t,” he said, and gestured wryly to the silvery streaks emerging in his own beard and sideburns.

I smiled.  “Well, then–I guess we’ll just go gray together.”

Grinning, he reached over and took my hand before leaning to whisper in my ear.

“That’s the dream.”

Wedding Drums

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Well, Amber is a married woman now.

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I know she’s 29 years old, but she’s still my baby sister, and seeing her in a wedding dress was every bit as surreal as the first time I witnessed my brother (the one who used to give me Indian rug burns and wrestle with me for control of the TV remote) changing diapers and answering to the name of “Daddy.” Still, the look on her face was beyond description. I suppose I could say that she was glowing, but it doesn’t seem to do her justice. When that kind of happiness, so deep and transforming, shines out from someone’s eyes, it’s almost too beautiful to look at. Seeing it radiating from my beloved sister warmed me straight through.

DA Wedding 1

The wedding was lovely. It was a perfect reflection of the two hearts being joined together that day. Daniel’s twin brother and best man, Samuel, sang a song in Shona, and Amber walked down the aisle to the sound of African drumbeats. Then she and Daniel faced each other before a crowd of smiling witnesses and promised to love each other always, to build their lives on God’s truth, and to be home to one another forever. After their first kiss (which was heralded by Daniel’s sincere “Woohooo!” of glee and the onlookers’ appreciative chuckles), the newly married couple a-wimoweh-ed back down the aisle together to the strains of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by The Tokens, grinning from ear to ear.

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DA Wedding 5

Thanks to the round-the-clock food preparation and decorating efforts of some very dedicated extended family, the reception was a vision of candlelight and white tablecloths, filled with the aromas of delicious Italian meatballs and skewered chicken. Our Aunt Linette made the wedding cake, a delectable Italian Cream cake festooned with red roses. Samuel made a sweet toast to the happy couple, and the bride and groom entertained the guests with their own harmonic performance, singing an array of songs, accompanied by their musical friends, Butch and Linda. A few brave souls even jumped up to strut their stuff on the dance floor; mostly the kids, who found it an excellent way to burn off their sugar high from the cream cheese frosting.

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DA Wedding 7

Finally, the cake was eaten, the bouquet was flung, and Daniel and Amber were ready to exchange the noisy wedding festivities for the quiet refuge of their reserved room at a nearby bed-and-breakfast. Instead of birdseed to hurl at the bride and groom (possibly causing grievous injury or inviting freak bird swarm attacks) the guests received glowsticks to wave around and light the path through the dark parking lot to Amber’s well-decorated car. With one last run through the cheering crowd, the freshly joined pair jumped into their escape vehicle and drove away to begin their new life.

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Just like that, the wedding was over.

The cleanup, however, was just beginning.

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DA Wedding

Congratulations, Daniel and Amber. May God bless you with true friendship, self-sacrificing love, and more mountains than valleys. I wish you both very happy!

(Final photo courtesy of Mike McElhatton)

Smallville Saturation

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This morning I was showering when Paul stumbled, bleary-eyed, into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Him:  *yawn*  Morning, babe.  *scratch*

Me:  Good morning yourself!  (peering out from behind the shower curtain)  Did you know your hair is sticking up funny in the back?

Him (sarcastic):  Yeah.  It helps me fly.

Me:   Very funny.

(Pause.)

Me:  If you’ve been able to fly all this time and you haven’t taken me for a ride, you’re in big trouble, mister.

Him:  This I know.