Confessions of a Mommy Blogger

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When I started blogging, I never intended to write a “mommy blog”. I just wanted to write. But they say to write what you know, and what I know in this season of my life happens to revolve around potty training and PBS television, cheerios and crayons–all the flotsam and jetsam of an existence defined, at least temporarily, by the two precious souls I have in my care.

So I write about boogers. About bedtime rituals and birthdays. I blog our sleepless nights and our busy days. I share my rare flashes of parenting insight and the cute things kids say. Sex talks, sibling rivalry, pancakes, puke (did I mention puke?)—nothing is above or below my purview as a member of Team Procreation.

I am mommy. Hear me roar.

There was a time, when I was younger, that I feared becoming a mother. I was afraid of losing myself—of having my love of great literature usurped by a cultish devotion to Dr. Seuss, of trading in my stylish clothes for a uniform of baggy sweats with permanent spit-up stains, of not recognizing the girl in the mirror as the one who dreamed of travel and adventure and changing the world in some sweeping stroke of divine inspiration.

I’ve been a mother for a decade now, and I can honestly say that I haven’t been lost, as I feared, but found—transformed into the self I never knew I always wanted to be.

There have been changes, true.

I’ve learned that love truly does conquer all, including my fundamental aversion to handling other people’s body fluids.

I’ve rediscovered my inner child. Also, my inner chef, my inner therapist, and my inner drill sergeant.

I’ve uncovered fears that far eclipse the loss of my skinny jeans.

But in essentials, I’m very much the same as I ever was.

I still love great literature, but my definition of greatness has widened to include the likes of Seuss and Sendak, sandwiched cozily next to Bronte and Browning on our bookshelf.

I still enjoy a beautiful pair of shoes, or the perfect little black dress, but what I’m wearing isn’t nearly as important to me now as what I’m modeling for my children in my choices and actions. (And judging from pictures of the good old days, I wasn’t as stylish as I thought I was, anyway.)

I still love travel and adventure, but now every adventure is seen through the fresh eyes of childhood, wonders piled upon wonders, a mystery around every new corner.

Most of all, I still dream of changing the world, but I realize now that the change I envisioned will not sweep through on a grand gesture of mine, but will creep tenderly in through the hearts that are growing beneath my care, hearts soaked daily in the waters of love, compassion, faith, and hope.

And the Divine inspiration? Well, I couldn’t do any of it without that.

So there it is.  I have a Mommy Blog, and I’m proud of it.  (But check back in fifteen years or so for posts about beautiful shoes.)

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16 responses »

  1. I love your blog. I really do. Whether you’re writing about your kiddos or World of Warcraft.

    I myself am facing a bit of a blogger identity crisis. My year-long adventure is rapidly nearing an end and then…then…WHAT? My future seems to be low in blogging material.

    Can you email me some funny stories about your kids that I can pass off as my own? Think anyone would notice the addition of two half-grown children to my family of one? 🙂

    Thanks, Jessi! I will totally loan you any future vomit stories I might have; I think I’ve given that particular topic adequate coverage here. You can also have a few harrowing tales of escalating sibling rivalry; I’ve got enough for several blogs. Think I could sell any of this stuff on Ebay?

  2. I actually think you give a little bit of everything on your blog and it inspires me to write about more than just my children (okay, except for maybe the last 2 posts). Your blog is one of my favorites. You are funny, smart and able to inject your spiritual beliefs without being nauseous 🙂

    All that you write of in today’s post, I absolutely nod my head in agreement and a sense of relief. Being a mom (especially a SAHM, for me) is one of the greatest blessings I’ve ever received.

    Thank you for the sweet compliment, Jenn! I always enjoy your blog, too, for your insightful take on some of the parenting conundrums that we all face. That’s one of my favorite things about mommy blogging–dipping from the pool of collected wisdom!

  3. I was just thinking this very morning about how I write what I know, too. And a lot of that is about mommyhood. I think that my kids have helped me become who I really am and who I’m supposed to be. I even have a hard time remembering what I used to do with all my time when there weren’t diapers to change and chocolate milk to make and messes to clean up. Maybe I’ll remember in 18 years when Jules goes to college. (Yes, 18 more years. That’s what I get for having a baby when I’m 36!) 🙂

    Bah! Don’t you know 40 is the new 30? You could get in a couple more kids and still be a few years ahead of Madonna.

  4. Well, I started my blog with the intention of it being a “mommy blog” and somehow came across your’s in the process 🙂 You inspire me in ways that you will never know, and have taught me that it’s OK to write about things other than my kiddos – even though my non-children material is very, very limited, and very sparse. But, alas, I have enjoyed your stories of eating worms and boogers, even when I’ve gagged and had to stop reading or turn away for fear of puking on my keyboard. But most of all, I have enjoyed getting to the know you – the Katrina that your readers know & love…and miss when you make your annual trips to Vegas 🙂

    I’m so glad you found my blog, Jennifer, way back when I first started! I think we truly are blog twins (right down to the Geek!), and I have so loved keeping up with the challenges and changes and stories of your family over these past few years. And I’m even more glad that I never made you actually puke on your keyboard; friends don’t make friends blow chunks. (Or something like that…ahem.)

  5. Katrina, this is an excellent post! You really speak to a lot of moms (and probably some dads) who look around one day and say “Whoah! How did I get here? Someone actually trusted me with a living, breathing child? Now what?”

    I’ve noticed how many of those pre-child anxieties have just gone away (or have been replaced with soooo many more interesting ones). My wife and I were just fine being a couple for 5 years, and we could have kept on going just fine. But now that our household is 3 instead of 2, we can’t imagine life without our son!

    Anyway, a superb post! Good luck teaching this year!

    Thank you so much for your encouragement! It’s amazing, the way that first baby changes the fabric of life so deeply that you can barely remember what it was like before, or even what you were like before. It sounds like your son has brought you and your wife a lot of joy; I hope the coming years are filled with more of the same!

  6. I love mom-bloggers! You only know what you know and this is the season for mom-blogging for you (and me!)

    Definitely! And it’s a season that passes all too quickly, so let’s enjoy it!

  7. I love this quote, “of not recognizing the girl in the mirror as the one who dreamed of travel and adventure and changing the world in some sweeping stroke of divine inspiration.”

    As a newlywed I can honestly say that I have had the same fears regarding attaching myself permanently to someone else. Fortunately we are both adventurers but unfortunately are shy on advanture funds. lol

    I think your best writings are about your children. They make one laugh and cry, faint with shock and sit silently wide-eyed. Keep it up!

    Thanks, sweet sister! I will endeavor to keep making you faint with shock at every opportunity! (And you’re right, marriage is another milestone that makes a big impact on your identity. At age 35, I’m finally coming to grips with the fact that I’ve changed, and I’m going to keep changing!)

  8. So so beautifully written! God has truly given you a gift of words and I have so enjoyed reading your blog from afar for years now!

    Thank you, Laura!

  9. Thanks for this post. You articulated something for me that I just won’t admit…

    And I’ve been blessed through reading about your walk of faith, which mirrors my own in so many points. Thanks for sharing your struggles and thoughts so openly!

  10. I love this, Katrina! You have such a beautiful way at expressing your heart (and the hearts of many others who share your sentiments…such as me!) with just the right words. I love your blog and hearing about all of your thoughts and adventures. Thank you for always sharing!!

    You are such an encourager, Becky. Thank you for these sweet words!

  11. I love this post. It’s so sweet! I love reading about the wonderful, creative, fun things you do with your children. You seem like such a fun mother. Your kids are very lucky. I can only imagine the imaginations, creativity and awe they’re developing.

    Your blog often mentions your children and life with them, but it’s definitely never empty reading!

    Thank you! And I enjoy reading your blog, too. I am amazed by your fortitude–both physical (102 mile bike ride! Wow!) and emotional (thank you for the sacrifice you and K are making to serve our country.) You’re an inspiration!

  12. I caught you on your guest post, but I love the way you write. I just subscribed.

    I’m so glad you left a comment so I could check out your blog, too. I loved it! I wish you every success as you endeavor to make the dream happen: writing for a living! I’ll be reading with anticipation!

  13. Well, mommy blog or not, I love your words. As a non-mom, I have to find my own place, but it’s great that you have unabashadley found yours. Flaunt it!

    xo,

    SL

    Thanks, Sarah Louise! I think you have found your place–I love the way you always share exactly what’s on your mind, whether serious or silly. You are the coolest librarian I know!

  14. Katrina – this is a great read. It made me call my wife just now and tell her I love her, just because. Thanks for that!

    Aww, Mike, that was the perfect compliment! I’m sure you put a smile on your wife’s face, too!

  15. I am so proud of you. I think those 12 little children you are teaching this year are the most blessed. Having a teacher like you to start their school life? Wow. I wish my children had a start with a teacher like you. You are amazing mother, person, wife and friend. I am proud to say you are my niece.

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