Boy, do I have a treat for my readers! Today’s NaBloPoMo post features an off-the-cuff interview with my beloved husband, lord of the castle, the head geek himself, the Amazing Paul.
I will be making up the questions as I go along, and Paul’s answers will be typed in without editing. Let’s see what happens, shall we?
Q–Paul, what would you say has been your most embarrassing moment thus far?
A–One time, as a young kid, I went to the beach and did a cannonball into the water. I came out of the water, and saw that the front of my shorts were ripped, so I walked out of the water and onto the shore and all the way up the beach to where our towels were, bending forward at the waist to cover the front of my torn shorts, only to discover that the rip extended all the way around from the front of my shorts to the back, and I had been mooning everyone all the way up the beach.
Q–What is the hardest thing about marriage?
A–It’s not as hard now as it used to be, but keeping an open and fair line of communication takes the most effort. Being able to be understood as well as making sure that the other person feels understood is a tall order, especially when you’re trying to do that on a regular basis.
Q–If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
A–Steak. Or Red Vines that are soft.
Q–Name three male role models who have positively impacted your life.
A–My Dad. While that may sound cliche, he has always given me a sense of fairness and practicality and down-to-earthness in addition to a great spiritual grounding. Dr. Daniel Stockstill, a professor at Harding University who always gave great boiled-down and wise perspectives on life that made decisions easier to make, yet leaving you to make the final call. Jeff Grow (and family), who have shared so much of my positive history as a young person that I can’ t begin to weigh all the impacts on my person now. There are too many great men to choose from.
Q–What was your most memorable Christmas gift ever?
A–My parents always tried to get us at least one thing that we really wanted. This one year, they went out on a limb and bought something that we hadn’t even asked for or hear of called “Crossbows and Catapults”. It was basically a game where you build walls out of blocks and chuck round pieces of plastic at each other’s castles using rubber-band powered ballistics. It was war. It was action. It was projectiles. It was time with Dad. We each got a starter set and were puzzled when we opened the presents, but the packaging of the game was promising enough that we were not too skeptical. Both my parents were so intent on getting us one thing that we really wanted, and this was the big ticket item. I remember them being fearful that they hadn’t gotten us the “one thing”. They didn’t feel this way because they were scared we would throw a selfish fit. They just loved us, and wanted us to have something fun. So we cracked it open, and it was so awesome that I still have the sets to this day and play it with my own kids, who also think it is awesome.
Q–What’s your biggest fear?
A–Being separated somehow from people that I love.
Q–If you had a personal theme song, what would it be?
A–Isn’t that something someone else should compose for you? *laughs* (The interviewer thinks his theme song should be “Harvey the Wonder Hamster”.)
Q–Why won’t you get matching tattoos with your wife?
A–I feel pretty strongly that if I’m going to permanently mark my body, it has to be a design that I feel intense about. I haven’t felt compelled to place any symbol on my person yet.
Q–But how do you feel about the full-back Chewbacca tattoo that your wife is planning on getting next month?
A–Ummm…it will accent the hair on her face well? *ducks and covers his face with his hands while he is pummeled by the interviewer* No, really, Chewbacca’s a great guy, and I’m actually proud that he’ll get such a place of prominence.
Q–Last question. In ten words or less, what do you want your tombstone to say?
A–“Gone to heaven. Are you coming or not?”
Thank you, Paul. You are a wonderful husband and a fine human being. I believe I’m rather fond of you.
(By the way, should it need to be said, the interviewer is NOT getting a tattoo of Chewbacca on her back, but was merely attempting to bait the interviewee. Relax, Mom!)