I Have a Microphone, and You Don’t


It’s the first glorious day of summer break for the kids and me. *pause to take a deep, delightful breath*

This morning, as Paul got ready for work, Caleb lamented, “I wish Dad had the summer off, too, so we could all do stuff together. It’s not fair that some people have to work in the summer. If I was President, I’d make it a law that everybody got to have summer vacation!”

I sympathized. “I know, Bubba, but if nobody worked all summer, the economy would fall apart.”

He pondered that for a moment. “What do you mean, Mom? How can it ‘fall apart’?”

And then, I came up with a brilliant analogy. “Well, you know how your circulatory system works, with your heart pumping blood where it needs to go all over your body? Well, the economy is kind of like that, but–”

“Mom, no offense, but I don’t really need a whole presentation.”


The child of my heart and my body is rejecting the bounty of my wisdom? Already? I thought I had at least until he was thirteen. He must be an early bloomer.

I wish I could say I just shrugged it off, but no. I am not that cool. I made him sit back down on the couch and listen to the end of my presentation (which was very inspired, if do say so myself), and I could tell by the look on his face that he was totally wowed. Speechless, really. In fact, he couldn’t even articulate how impressed he was before running off to play, possibly wondering what other nuggets of brilliance may be lying behind my mediocre motherly facade.

Don’t worry, kiddo. I’ve got plenty more metaphors where that came from. And you will get to hear them all.

4 responses »

  1. So you’re going to explain something I don’t understand with something else I don’t understand? Can you explain the economy with something like…chocolate? That I understand.

    • Well, Jen, you know how you get chocolate from the store and hide it in your classroom, and then you eat a little bit and Kathy comes and filches some and you give some to your sister before it’s all gone and you have to go back to the store for more? Well, if everyone in the world stopped working for the summer, it would be like the stores stopped selling chocolate, and your chocolate fix would dry up, and you’d be dependent on black market chocolateers and their stockpiled and heavily marked up chocolate for your daily chocolate needs. And the less there was left, the more it would cost, until people were running amok and murdering each other in the streets for Hershey’s kisses.

      THAT’s what I mean by “the economy would fall apart”. Does that make more sense now?

  2. I’ve been getting those looks and remarks for years now. Now I just give the blanket “I’m not sure honey” answer to most everything and save myself the heartache of rolled eyes.

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