I forgot something when I recently wrote Ten Things I Like About My Job. I don’t know how I forgot it, because it’s one of my greatest workday pleasures:
11. Ordering office supplies. That’s right. I am the Office Supply Orderer-In-Chief for this here workplace. Oh, sure, the boys might run out and pick up the odd ink pen or pack of binder clips, but most of the office supplies we use are ordered right here online by yours truly. We have a Staples business account and free next-day delivery, which means that if I place an order today for copy paper in all the lovely hues of the rainbow, I can be running my fingers across its gloriously glossy planes by tomorrow.
I’ve always had a thing for new office supplies, from the first day I showed up at kindergarten, proudly clutching my pencil box full of sharpened #2 pencils, to today, when I ordered ten reams of bright white printer paper and a lovely stack of post-it notes in the girliest colors imaginable.
I keep an ongoing list of supplies that run low, and when the list is long enough, I get to go shopping. It feels so indulgent to buy ballpoint pens 50 at a time, or to choose the multicolored paper clips over the boring silver ones. And I can’t begin to tell you how delightful it is to comparison shop for the best electric pencil sharpener on the market. When we needed a new three-hole punch with adjustable positioning, I was the one who lovingly scoured the consumer reports to find the perfect specimen.
My dream is that one day my office chair will spontaneously combust and I’ll get to pick out a new one. Can you imagine the possibilities? Lumbar support, pneumatic seat-height adjustment, tilt lock… pleather upholstery! Ah, well. One day, perhaps.
*sigh* How I love ordering office supplies. I mean, you can call it a portfolio if you want to, but we all know it’s just Trapper Keeper 2.0.