I’m here, I’m alive, and I can’t find my kitchen knives.
Are they in the box marked “Kitchen-Fragile”, or the one marked “Kitchen-Misc”? Can I catch a disease if I just use my Swiss Army knife to slice the cheddar for tomorrow’s lunch?
And if I do catch a disease, will someone bring me soup and grilled cheese sandwiches in bed and let me sleep all day? Because I could really use a day like that. I am done up.
Sorry about the flimsy post. I know it’s not very filling. I promise nice meaty chunks of narrative sprinkled liberally with metaphors in the days to come.
Meanwhile, the rest of these ambiguously labeled boxes can wait another few hours. I’m going to bed!