I hate that noise. That juicy, splurching, glorpish noise that makes you sit bolt upright in the middle of the night suddenly certain that one of your kids has just coated his bed, his pillow, his pajamas, and his poor, poor Tigger with the remains of his dinner. That noise informs you that you had better wake up, because the next twenty minutes of your life will be consumed in a flurry of activity: peeling off gloopy clothes, stripping down slimy sheets and blankets, starting the washer, making the bed (or, if it is still drying from its furious scrubdown, throwing a sleeping bag out on the floor), and bathing and combing and dressing your darling in clean, sweet-smelling pajamas before you finally tuck him in to sleep once more.

The only thing worse than hearing that noise at 12:30am is hearing it again at 3:00.

12 responses »

  1. Uuugghhh!!! I too hate that noise 😦 So sorry that you’re dealing with barf on a Friday, but hope your weekend improves 🙂

  2. Yeah, that’s what we’ve been hearing a lot lately — from the dog. I can handle the dog.

    Fortunately my husband always handled the kids the two times they ralphed (yeah, I know. two times. go figure…).

  3. Worse yet, hearing that noise and then the splash as it hits the ground and bounces back up to get the kid sleeping in the lower bunk. Hope all is well and the next night is quieter.

  4. He Who Must Not Be Named–Not only isn’t my title a word, I’m pretty sure several of the words in my post won’t be found in the dictionary, either.

    Iza–I’m sorry to tell you this, but I did cut down on the description already. For example, I didn’t mention that the condition of the dinner when it came out of my child was liquid, salmon colored, and adorned with tiny colorful chunks. I figured most people have enough experience to imagine the details for themselves.

    Amanda Sue–Yes, dog and cat ralphing are right up there. Our cats used to make a noise we called “horking”, as in “Macavity is horking, Paul–get her outside, quick!”

    Siggy–Only two times! At the risk of sounding like a four year old, NOT FAIR! Whining aside, though, may your streak of family health continue unabated. 🙂

    uuMomma–Ewwww! Two for the price of one, huh? Fortunately, our little upchucker was on the bottom bunk and only got himself (and Tigger, of course.)

  5. Do they give new moms some sort of implant to put in their ear to make them especially sensitive to this noise? My mother, not normally an athletic woman, was in our rooms with towel, trashcan, and Seven-Up before we had even finished Retch Number One.

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