This guy came to my house. I don’t know who reported me, but I’d like to thank them. Smiley abuse is one of the greatest threats to public communication our country has ever known. I didn’t realize how much I’d come to rely on misapplied punctuation marks and arcane acronyms in my everyday correspondence. I’m part of the problem. Are you?
I hope this public service announcement will, you know, serve the public: