In her comment on my last post, my good friend Kathy made this generous offer:
“May I get your friends to compile a “6 Weird Things About Katrina” list for you? You know how I love a good list… “
What a great idea! Who but one’s friends would be more qualified to identify and illuminate those little idiosyncrasies that make one completely unique? I was so
alarmed moved by this meaningful gesture that I decided to return the favor and make a preemptive strike friendly list of some of Kathy’s delightful quirks. And here they are:
1. Kathy has a celebrity crush on Legolas from The Lord of the Rings. Not the actor, Orlando Bloom. Just the elf.
2. Kathy licks things. I have photo evidence of this. After every trip we take together, I get back at least one picture of Kathy poised to lick something–a bronze statue of a monkey, an Applebee’s sign, and, on one memorable occasion, a life size cardboard cut-out of Legolas (see point #1).
3. When eating out with friends, Kathy always calls dibs on the heel of the bread, sometimes leaping across the table to lay claim to it before everyone else even sits down. Never, ever get between her and that crusty, buttered morsel of delight. She will wrestle you for it.
4. Kathy is a walking sales circular. She is the Boss of the Bargain, the Coupon Connoisseur, the Duchess of Deals. I can leave the house to go grocery shopping, call Kathy on my cell phone, and ask her “Which store has London Broil on sale this week?” And she will know. Off the top of her head. That is amazing.
5. However, this same thrifty woman, who carries a punch card for every store in the tri-state area, who has never bought a hard back book, and who would walk two miles to a remote backpackers’ supply outpost just to save forty-two cents on a can of baked beans, will not shop at Ross or T J Maxx because she doesn’t like having to dig through the racks of clothes to find a bargain.
6. The more she gets to know me, the sweeter our friendship grows.
At least she hasn’t run away screaming yet.