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After reading my previous post, Paul said he thought I’d been a bit excessive in extolling his virtues (and besides, he’s been getting a lot of flack at work for the Jane Austen thing.) Therefore, in the interests of complete honesty, I am obliged to inform you of the following Paul-related facts:

~He has five or six jokes that he especially likes, and tells them whenever we meet someone new. I am contractually bound to laugh each and every time.

~He snores–and it sounds like an entire kindergarten class learning to play the bagpipes.

~He uses the corner of our bedroom as a dumping ground for old software boxes, computer parts, user manuals, scratched CDs, and assorted Guy Crud. Every so often the crud migrates across the room, forcing me to employ the move-it-or-lose-it-in-a-giant-silicon-fueled-bonfire ultimatum.

~It takes him twenty minutes to make a Scrabble move.

~Like many men, he has a vision problem. He can’t see dirt. This pretty much renders him unable to mop floors, dust, or wipe down countertops. (I believe this ailment is closely tied to the auditory disability that prevents men from hearing a baby cry in the middle of the night.)

~He always forgets when I’m on a diet, and invariably brings home some gooey, chocolate-y, caramel-covered concoction that I am unable to resist with the puny power of my feeble human will.

(Oh, who am I kidding? I love him for that last one.)

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13 responses »

  1. Yep. I think that last one should have been on the first list. My man does the stash-in-the-corner thing, too. His are mostly clothes that he is never going to wear and a few magazines.

  2. Awwwww – once again I must say that you are a lucky woman and you have a wonderful man in your life. for that I am grateful and inspired. It’s also good to hear that he’s real… which I heard from your postings of truth!

    =) So glad to be back. I’ve missed you!!!

  3. I love this list! You are too funny! I love the “Guy Crud” label. And now I’m beginning to understand how my son can supposedly “dust the house” and yet when I sit down and look at the tv stand it’s covered with dust! it’s that vision problem, isn’t it? I should have mentioned it to the otpician when we were there…

    (hi paul!)

  4. Your Paul and my Caleb were cut from the same cloth. Especially with the diet thing. Oh…and the dirt thing. Why oh why can’t he SEE THE DIRT???

  5. He must be hung up on correct spelling when it comes to Scrabble. I can make moves in seconds. Unfortunately it takes at least twenty minutes to argue with my opponant on wether it’s an actual word or just a “Jon-ism”.

  6. Michael must have ‘super-human’ man vision because he can ALWAYS see the dirt. Unfortunately he apparently becomes a quadrapelegic (sp?) when it comes to actually doing anyting about it (i.e. sweeping, dusting, vacuuming)! I can say that when begged (he would call it nagging), he will occassionally oblige me and vacuum the house – or at least the downstairs portion – but usually not until I’m at my wit’s end and the company we’re expecting is due within 5 minutes. And, thankfully, his ‘guy crud’ usually stays within close proximity of his desk. Wish I could say that his dirty clothes always make it to the hamper, only 4 short steps away from the closet shelf they always land on. One of these days, I’m going to forget (over & over again) to check that shelf, and he’ll pay dearly when he’s out of boxers and socks!

  7. Harvey and I stumbled upon American Idol last night on tv ( i know!) he was struck by one of the male singers and how much he reminded him of a Young Paul. We are not sure of the boys name – but he is the yongest contestant, pretty good and they call him chicken little. Compliment? i dont know…..
    anyway.. at least you know harv thinks of y’all!

  8. Hehe! I will tell Paul that Harvey thinks he looks like Chicken Little (Kevin, I think his name is), and leave it up to him to decide whether that’s an improvement over his other alter-ego: Screech from “Saved By the Bell”.

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