Did I Just Say That?


Life is full of surprising twists, and never more so than when you share your home with children.

Their capacity to devise new and unique ways to drive you slowly out of your mind is boundless. (Perhaps that’s a resource the Pentagon should look into. There’s not a terrorist alive who wouldn’t crack under the torture of 648 episodes of The Wiggles played back to back.)

Children are also the world’s greatest scientists, and their experiments run to places where I would never have dreamed of putting up a baby gate (a thoroughly useless apparatus, anyway.) Which brings me to….

Sentences I Never Imagined Saying Before I Had Kids:

Don’t glue things to your brother.

Did you get this out of the sink or the toilet?

That’s not Barbie’s hairbrush; it’s for Mommy’s teeth.

Please take that out of the cat.

Smarties are NOT a fruit!

Why do you have on three pairs of underwear?

Where’s the rest of the Q-tip?

You can’t wear paper clothes to school, sweetie.

Let me get this straight…someone else peed your pants?

5 responses »

  1. I notice that almost every sentence ended with a period, indicating that you still had your cool. Except for one, the Smarties comment. To me this indicates an ongoing (and perhaps elevated) discussion. Okay, I’ll take Katie’s side and offer this. If Smarties are not a fruit, then how about a nice package of those fruit snacks?

  2. You’ve had me laughing out loud for the passed few minutes as I’ve read some of your past blogs. Your writing style is vivid and hilarious, all at the same time.

    As for this entry, I really laughed at the ‘sink or toilet’ question. Wondering what exactly made you ask that question?!? As for Kathy’s comment, my kids always ask for an apple, grapes…or fruit snacks when snack time arrives. Seems logical right?

  3. Kathy–I’m willing to accept fruit snacks as a fruit if I can count chocolate as a dairy serving.

    Jennifer–Thank you for the warm words…you made my day! And as for the toilet/sink question, the answer will go down safely esconced in the annals of family history.

  4. !!! Hee Hee !!!

    Hi Katrina,
    I read Jill’s blog… so it was only a matter of time before I stumbeled upon the napkin notes. Oh! So glad I did. πŸ™‚

    Incidently, a good friend of mine had a professor in college who used to pass gadgets around the class on a regular basis (it was an engineering class). Apparently, the professor prefaced each gadget with the phrase “Don’t lick it.” πŸ™‚ He had a 3 year old at home.

  5. Courtney–I’m glad you did, too! I hope you’ll drop in often.

    “Don’t lick it” is excellent advice, as it applies to so many things. I’m always saying it to my friend, Kathy, too.

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