What Would You Do-o-o for a Klondike Bar?

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10 Things I Would Do for a Klondike Bar:

1.  Wear a dress made out of duct tape.

2. Go to the grocery store in my pajamas.

3.  Spend the night at Walmart.

4.  Post a YouTube video of myself chair dancing awesomely to “Mai Ai Hee”.

5.  Stand facing the wrong way in the elevator.

6.  Go to a fancy restaurant and speak to the server the whole time in a really fake French accent.

7.  Approach a total stranger and pretend to know him from high school.

8.  Leave my fly open for an entire day.

9.  Dye my hair pink.  No, blue.  No, pink.

10.  Do the Polar Bear Plunge in Lake Coeur d’Alene.

10 Things I Would Most Assuredly Not Do for a Klondike Bar:

1.  Let a tarantula walk on my face.

2.  Go bungee jumping.

3.  Drink Spang*.

4. Get a tattoo of PeeWee Herman on my thigh.

5.  Watch “Hostel”.

6.  Streak the Superbowl half-time show.

7.  Try out for American Idol.

8.  Sit through a Barry Manilow concert.

9.  Reread “The Sound and the Fury”.

10.  Go anywhere with the Burger King.  He’s creepy.

*Spang is a liquid refreshment some friends of mine made up in college.  Tang plus Spam, blended until smooth.  We actually made this foul concoction once, and took turns tasting it.  It was revolting.

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27 responses »

  1. Katrina, Katrina…you are so much braver than I. I would only be willing to do 2 through 7 on the first list. BUT…I have gone bungee jumping! Great post except for that Spang bit which (blech) makes me feel (ick) more than a little (blffffgh) queasy…

  2. I actually have gone to the grocery store in my pajamas… *for* a Klondike bar. I also did approach a stranger once at a Wal-Mart in Oklahoma because I thought she was someone I knew from Wyoming. I said, “Hey! What are you doing here!? Is this your nephew? Oh… you’re not who I thought you were. Bye.” I would dye my hair pink for free… but bonus if I get ice cream!

    And I would NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER let a tarantula walk on my face. I couldn’t even watch the video. Ick.

  3. I would NOT spend the night in Walmart for all the Klondike bars in the world. I would however, try out for American Idol, sit through Barry Manilow, and read The Sound and the Fury.

  4. The only way I would reread The Sound and the Fury would be for monetary compensation (sorry, Dr. Long), much less a Klondike bar. I would also add that it would take quite a bit of money to get me to reread Tess of the D’Urbervilles, while I’m thinking about it….

  5. I am SO bringing a couple of boxes of Klondike bars to our next girls night out. One per stunt. I’ll even spot you the two for instances already performed. But you get those at the end. I don’t want your willingness preempted by premature gratification.

  6. Disclaimer: I am not a Barry Manilow fan.

    I’ve bought Barry Manilow concert tickets for my mom twice. The first concert I was a volunteer usher at the theater. The second concert no one else wanted to go because it was Easter Sunday, therefore, I went with her.

    Both concerts were entertaining. Manilow knows how to play to his audience and works to make everyone (even those that don’t want to be there) enjoy themselves. A Manilow concert is probably a lot better than say…..wearing a duct tape dress, with pink dyed hair, while spending the night in Wal-Mart to make a video of you dancing to “Mai Ai Hee” with a total stranger with blue dyed hair that just happened to be the server you spoke to with a fake French accent, while his fly is open.

  7. wow, came across this – and BOY is it funny!!!! anyway, i would try to do a back flip and injure myself for a klondike barra.

  8. i would go on a cruise in somalia for a klondike bar I would drive a 2009 toyota prius for a klondike bar i would pity mr. t for a klondike i would roundhouse kick chock norris for a klondike

  9. I give you props you are a brave woman for you to be willing to sit through barley manenoughs concert…. i think i would wrestle a 1500 pound polar bear covered in pig blood for a klondike bar, i know it sounds extreme but i really like me some klondike bar. mmmm.

  10. infact the only thing i would not do for a klondike bar is sit through a barry manalow (i know i spelled that wrong on purpose) concert…

  11. I wouldn’t sit thru a barry manilow or read that book again, nor would I wrestle a polar bear. I have walked thru walmart with pj’s, rode a bike without handlebars and about broke my neck, dyed my hair pink and blue. I

    I would use my ex’s as pin cushions.
    Shave my head, pierce my tongue, and ride a 4 wheeler, blindfolded backwards. Actually.. I would walk over to the freezer and take one out.. Unwrap it sit back and enjoy..

  12. i personaly would eat a ham sandwhich.
    because i have hated them cince the year i was born.(you dont even want to know why)for a klondike bar

  13. i would swim the Atlantic ocean and not drown, eat 12 buckets of cat poop and not frond.. i would cut off my hands above my wrist and still wiggle my fingers just like this.

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