The Sperm, the Egg, and Viva Piñata

I wasn’t planning on giving the sex talk today.
But then again, does anyone really put that on their calendar?
Tuesday, August28: Dentist appointment. Call water heater repairman. Tell 8 year-old, in moderate detail, about the physical, emotional, and spiritual workings of sexual intercourse.

I knew the time was coming, of course. Eight years old is about the [...]

Interview: the Finale

And now for the exciting conclusion…

The Interview, Part Deux

The second installment is up! Prepare yourselves for a peek into my inner geek and a modest amount of Gerard Butler related gushing HERE…

My Normal

Jayedee over at Life in the Lost World has tagged me to answer one question: what is “normal”?
Far be it from me to define normality for anyone else, what with all the weirdos out there (of course, one never includes oneself in that category, which is, doubtless, the spirit behind this meme.) For me, though, [...]

My First Interview (and I’m Not Even Famous!)

Somehow, they find me.
The same way I find them, probably.
Stumbling over a familiar name, I follow virtual footprints across the web: old bulletin board posts, comments on other people’s web journals, long-abandoned pages on MySpace and Facebook. And soon, there is my long lost friend–a current email address, an active blog. Contact.
Not too long ago, [...]

Smile!

My birthday present from Paul arrived via FedEx this week, and I am having loads of fun learning to use it.
Those of you who already consider me spoiled beyond what I deserve (and quite rightly) should definitely not, under any circumstances, click HERE.

Leave the Gun, Take the Cannolis

The bugs have declared war.
It seems the spiders I killed had mob connections.
This morning I awoke to find a teeming trail of sugar ants snaking around the kitchen floor. No ant spray, so I assaulted them with Windex and wiped their disinfected corpses up with paper towels.
Two hours later they were back, in force. [...]

Terror on the Toilet

I was almost finished with my, um, “business” when I looked up and saw the monster.
Its hundred beady eyes gleamed with malevolent purpose as it gazed at me from across the expanse of tastefully understated sage green bathmat. It was the size of a salad plate. Well…maybe a dessert plate. Okay, okay—it was the size [...]

Family Reunion

Time is a funny thing.
It’s almost magical how those giants whose knees and navels composed your entire Lilliputian world when you were a child seem suddenly shrunk to normal proportions while the kids you used to play with emerge from the fog of years as tall people with grown-up faces and a train of their [...]