Night Elves and Taurens and Gnomes, Oh My!

Hello. My name is Katrina, and I’m…a WoW addict.
It’s been five months since my last raid on an orc village, but last night I fell off the wagon. I hooked up with some of my old friends from Azeroth, one thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was riding my giant [...]

The Big Stink

There’s a dark side to parenting, one that doesn’t appear on the cover of Child Magazine or in your rosy pre-baby fantasies of spending quiet evenings at home, cradling your pink, sweet-smelling newborn as you recline in Raphaelite beauty on your very expensive Babies ‘R’ Us glider rocker. And it can be summed up in [...]

Dear Kathy…

There’s got to be an easier way for you to get mentioned in my blog than to sneak around my apartment, covertly affixing California Raisins stickers to everything.
The ones I found covering the numbers on the microwave and stuck to my Diet Coke bottle and pasted on the bathroom mirror were all amusing. “What a [...]

No Soldier, I

“Where did he go?” I mumbled as I crouched a little lower behind the graffiti-covered wall. My heart beat a staccato rhythm inside my chest and sweat trickled in tiny rivulets down my back. I’d been hit from behind as I rounded a corner, but the enemy had evaded my return fire and now was [...]

Sorry I Could Not Travel Both

A few weeks ago I was cleaning out an old email account of ours, one that we haven’t used in years, except as a spam-tastic decoy for all those online registration forms. I was wielding my Delete key with ferocity, annihilating legions of piled-up Viagra ads and invitations to help foreign princes transfer their untold [...]

Savage Consumers

It’s time, I think, to start using power of the written word and the dynamic platform of my beloved blog to mobilize my vast readership (I’ve added all eleven of you to my Christmas card list, by the way) in a fight to right the wrongs that are clearly afflicting the very foundation of our [...]

Skroinch

Is there any feeling quite as yucky as finding out that someone is mad at you?
Maybe you’re one of those lucky people who really don’t care what others think of them. If you are, I envy you and your fancy schmancy emotional health. As for me, I only tell myself that I don’t care what [...]

Moms in Paradise

Chick Trip ‘05 has been put in the books, and what a trip it was.
This year’s destination: Missoula, Montana.
“What’s in Missoula?” a few people have asked. The answer? Simple pleasures. A hotel with five hot tubs, continental breakfast, and people who are paid to make your bed and pick up your wet towels. Restaurants with [...]

Retribution

Ugggh.
Help. Me.
I think the aliens have figured out that I was the one who blew the whistle on their plan for geopolitical global conquest. In retaliation, they have apparently infected me with some kind of interplanetary death flu.
Urrggghlggrrg.
It feels like my insides are trying to get outside. They’re not too picky about which exit they [...]

Ewww.

There is something truly repulsive growing next to the sidewalk outside my apartment.
I’m posting a picture of it that I took this morning, so I know I don’t really need to describe it for you. But I’m going to, anyway, because the image of it is stuck in my mind the way a popcorn kernel [...]